the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
