Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize