I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
send nudes
from the living room?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
