I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
