so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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