so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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