i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
