You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
