I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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