That's intense
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
