there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
