I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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