I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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