So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
