Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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