I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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