I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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