It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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