I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize