Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize