Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
