omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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