how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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