Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
