Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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