I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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