i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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