The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
