I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
