Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
