im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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