next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
