I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
