I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
