Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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