i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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