You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
