Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
