Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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