toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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