i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
