Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This is classic penis vs brain.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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