somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
