god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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