Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You're like the curious george of whores
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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