Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
