what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
