omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
they're like a gay fantastic four
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Still dying that you shit outside
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
