Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
