I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
