I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
