More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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