Got a toothbrush?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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