I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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