If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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