it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
