I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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