I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That's intense
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize