Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We need to get me chipped asap
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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